The Journey of Nathan Hall (2)

Chapter 2

Nothing is ever easy here.

Everything inside these concrete walls are either a burden or making you go insane. Trust me I know, and I have tasted the bitterness of a place like this. For me, only staying inside my room is the thing that can avoid me from the black abyss the asylum holds. But very different from me, Robert has his own ways of precluding those things from his mind. And that is his daughter.

Robert once showed me a picture of her. She was absolutely beautiful, I can tell you that. Blonde hair, adequate height, and sparks a lovable smile. Robert told me that having her was the happiest thing that ever happened to him. Robert usually calls her Sunflower because of her yellow like sunflower hair. He never mentioned her real name. She is now eighteen and lives in Washington. Well, at least that's what Robert told me.

And not hearing her voice will totally make Robert loose his mind. While he is kind man, but his soul is unstable. The only thing that keeps him awake and to continue his life is a vision of the one day that he would see his daughter again. I don't quite understand this but I guess It's a father and daughter thing.

"Robert," I say with a persevere tone. "Are you alright?"

He looks like a pale horse as he walks to sit on my bunk bed. "Nathan," he says and suddenly ask, "Do you ever miss your parents?"

It took me a while to find the answer deep in my head, and as the man I am, I simply answer, "I can't find the reason why I wouldn't miss them. Even though I hate them for putting me in an asylum, but I still miss them. Those are emotions that could never go away, even if you try your best to erase it."

"Then," Robert's voice was so low, I almost couldn't hear him saying, "You understand my feelings, right? How I yearn my daughter's voice for so long. I know I'm not a perfect father but I really do care for here. I ... I just could find a reason why she wouldn't answer any of my calls. Why ... Nathan? Why didn't She answer my call?"

I simply stay silent. Speechless to an answer less question.

"Maybe ..." Robert continue. Drops of tear start to well down from his cheeks. "Maybe My Sunflower doesn't want to see or hear Daddy voice again."

I really want to cheer him right now. But yet, I still stayed motionless and couldn't reach my arms to simply give him a small hug or some kind of gesture that indicates that I truly care. That went on until I heard a ringing sound of a bell outside Robert and my room.

Robert tap me on my right shoulder, and I am amazed that he could still paint a smile on his pale face. "Well, I guess we'll continue our conversation after this. We shouldn't be late for lunch and medicine."

Oh my God! I shout in fright in my mind. The last thing I want in this world is exiting my room. The outsides of my room door is completely a living hell. A nightmare that I don't want to walk through. But I couldn't stay in my room forever.  I would starve to death if I didn't. Like a car needs petrol to run, I do too need energy to live.

Robert helps me walk out of the room, I slowly walk outside. Feeling the sting in my eyes as the corridor light was bright as ever. I walk behind Robert and we entered a room filled with people wear white shirt and pants. The sweet smell of chocolate growls my stomach.

We then waited in line in the cafeteria. While I waited, I sweep my sight on the people here. Patients that were positively and no doubt mental. But the one man I fear most is the one sitting alone at the chair placed at the corner of the room.

Almost everyone here has a nick name. Robert and I called her "Bloody Mary" but her real name is Sophie Winterglass. She is at her late twenty's. Her skin tone is as white as an elephants ivory. Her hair red and wavy like waves on Omaha beach. I don't know much about her but the stories Robert have told me is enough to make me mark her as one bloody lunatic killer. As in Robert's words, Sophie was thrown in here because She killed her husband back on summer 2006. But the court verdict finds Sophie crazy and having a delusional state of mind which made her compelled to kill her husband.

But I find the verdict hard to believe as I see her act and live like a normal person, or maybe everything is not as it's seems?

Sitting next to her is a bald latin man with tribal tatto on all over both his arms, and a long steel chain grips both of his legs. We call him "The Slayer." His real name is Jonathan Drive. Robert also told me to stay out of this lunatic's way as he was a serial killer before the police caught him and the court found him mentally unstable and decided to throw him in an asylum rather than a maximum security prison. But I know his craziness is just an act he did in front of the jury to escape imprisonment. In total, he killed 22 people for the course of 4 years. An unfair price I say for killing all those people. I would be much happier if this man was rotting inside a cold dark steel prison.

He doesn't deserve seeking sanctuary here. None of the killers do.

"Stop looking at them, Nathan." Robert whispers to me, my glare instantly slips. "Remember, you are suppose to avoid making enemies, not too make enemies." he says.

"But I can't stand it!" I say. "Those people are killers and they don't deserve to be here! They should be rotting in prison, not sitting here and enjoying a delicious chocolate latte! Come on I'm sure you agree with me, Robert, don't you?"

"I do, I do." he answers with a nod. "But what can you do? The reality is, they are here and not in prison. And nothing you can do can ever change that. And you shouldn't be so restless like this, I admit they are bloody murderers but a lion can do no harm if his fangs are revoked."

More likely, I think. Their fangs were not revoked, the lion's just shacked by metal chains so he couldn't kill his prey. If those shackles were to be removed, he couldn't hold the temptation of killing his prey. And people like us, are his prey.