Here I am again, writing down what hasn't been written. People say you always create your own history. Some believed it, but some do not, For me, history can only be made if you have the will to do so, you cannot create anything while sitting on your ass. You have to move, develop into something greater, evolve.
I am here to create my own history, to become my ownself, to be better than today.
To be honest, thinking all of this makes me a bit miss. Yes, I miss her so much. I have always did what I can to reach her, but the more I reach, the further she os. Maybe, we are not meant to be. All I ever hoped and dreamed of, maybe is just some delusional fairytale that is lost and long gone in the mist, taken away by something called separation.
Honesty, separation ia what I do not intend to do. I gave myself a promise that something I would fond her and love her one last time. But, will she love me back? Will the heart be persuaded by something called effort?
The history of my life, until now, has been with her. She is something special that no other person can replace. I miss the past, very well miss it. And I refuse to believe that the past should be forgotten, because what if the place you want to be in is in the past? I refuse to believe that saying, those words, I think are made by people who doesn't want to remember.
Because to face the past is to endure long time sickness. Whether it is heart broken, or problems from the past that you aren't willing to repeat.
But, willing or not we should all fave the truth of the present; she is long gone, memories we made are gone, a new heart may so be .... Struck her. I don't know. I've been in this terrifying situation. I've been heart broken, but am I ready for another one?
Half of me said I can, but the other half whispers, "you are better off dead."
It's like what john legend said in his lyrics, "cause all of me, loves all of you," ever felt this? Loving all of her flaws, forgotten all of her mistakes which once desolate you?
Yet again, I am unable to grasp the full understanding of how love works. There is no procedure. One day, I am just a regular friend, by the next day roses bloom in my heart. Is it that simple, to metamorphosize something ordinary into something special? But, it's funny how it works, none can predict when or how they would fall in love.
Today, I miss you....
